Ive got quite a skeptical mind. I question things a lot. I believe in God and all that stuff but I guess Ive always had conflicting believes about what happens people when they die. I am not able to believe in something just because I'm meant to or because its part of my religion. I always look deeper...I'm not sure I enjoy this part of me - but I'm learning slowly to accept it.
There has to be more purpose then just living here on earth for x years then that's it. I believe our lives on earth is a journey to help us grow spiritually....so we go back to God stronger. My faith has deepened with age but I think I struggled with dying from a young age.
My dad died when I was 8. I remember listening to adults talking and saying he was happy now. I was quite mad at this statement because how could he be happy without my mum n us? I used to ask my mum what if someone you love goes to hell....how can you be happy in heaven without them. She tried to give me answers but I guess to this day I still don't really know the answer to that.
When my mum died I really hit an emotional low. She was the centre of my world and I really didn't know how Id cope without her. We had always had a very close relationship and I loved her with all my heart. When I used to question what happened after you died ....she used to joke that she would come back if she could n tell me.
It took a few years to be honest but suddenly orbs began appearing in photographs. They look like hosts. The first time this happened I was in Lourdes with my uncle and sister. He was saying mass at the grotto n I became very emotional...think mum was dead about 2 years at the time. I cant remember exactly what the homely was about but had something to do with death n going to heaven. I remember saying to my mum in my head....I'm waiting for your sign. I cried during that mass...n I didn't even know why. After it thou I felt peaceful.
We came home and life went back to normal. When we got the photographs developed there was one of my uncle that day saying the mass...and this beautiful orb beside him. Id never really heard of orbs up to that but did a little research on them. They are a sign of a dead loved one being near. Again I wasn't totally convinced...it felt like it could be my mum because of me talking to her that day and being so emotional ,,,,but it could been a trick of the camera. I mostly believed thou it was my mum sending me my long awaited sign she was happy.
Loads of times from that orbs have appeared in family photographs. About 5 years ago my brother was showing me photos of him n his wife on their anniversary and there was the orb right between their heads. This was on a different camera and he was showing me them on his pc. Ive had numerous cameras ,,,cos I'm a scatter brain n keep losing things. Ive lost count of the number of times that orbs have appeared ...and always during family celebrations or when I was thinking about and missing my mum. On El lies adoption day she must have taken all the relatives with her because there was a family photo taken with the social worker and guardian and was bout 5 or 6 orbs in it.
Anyway to cut a long story short. We had snow on Sunday and I was taking pictures of the girls. We met Cathy and decided we would take a walk up to where my mum is buried. There would be tons of fresh snow up there for the girls and we could say hello to Rose at the same time. Standing at her grave I said to Cathy you know I really miss her so much. She would have really loved the girls. Moe was a year when my mum died but she never got to meet Els.
When we came home I was transferring the photos onto the pc to send to my uncle in London. The first photo I took had an huge orb....bigger then I ever had seen before covering part of Ellie ,,,and another smaller one over by the swings. I believe that my mum felt me missing her on Sunday and came to let me know she was still around and was enjoying the girls.
At one time in my life I would have been freaked out by this but I get a great amount of comfort from it. Ive still got my skeptical mind but I just cant explain this away.
I do believe that our loved ones don't leave us....We may not see them anymore or be able to touch them or talk to them but they are here.
Mum I love you so much. Ive always known you were a great mother and friend but really from I started my journey as a mother I truly have learned to appreciate all you did and the scarifces you made. You job was hard but you gave to us willing all that you had ,,,but most of all your time and love. You will always live on in my heart and I know we will meet again some day....and what a happy day that will be.
Love ya ma xx
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I'm tearing up reading this tonight. I saw the comment you left for me on facebook but didn't really know what you meant. I just went back and had a look though, and there are definitely several pictures with these "orbs" in them! I don't know if it means anything or is just a weird trick from the camera lens, but I have to say looking at the pictures, it's hard to see that it would just be a weird reflection or something. Those pictures are from the Dent family Christmas party--my dad's family. My dad has been gone 5 years now, and we also lost my uncle and my grandmother this year just 6 weeks apart(they both lived in the house where we had the party).
ReplyDeleteI know for sure that there have been different times my dad has been close. I have, from time to time, smelled him as if he were right beside me.
And my mom's mother died when she was just 2 years old, but she has told me that when she was a child, she could often feel the presence of her mother enter her room and sit on the edge of her bed at night.
I definitely believe that we are eternal beings, and that once we're gone to heaven, we're not really so far from the ones we love.
I looked again at the photos n I thin its no 52 n 54 that I think I see the orbs in. Funny I wondered had anyone died there recently.
ReplyDeleteTo me its amazing and comforting that they are still close and get to see us living our lives. I think up to that mass in lourdes I was prolly a bit closed to it all but Im glad she got through.
I know that god frobid if I was to die Id have to still be close till the girls...whine in their ear..lol
We will never know for sure whats going on but half the battle is just believing and having faith and letting God work the rest out. This is where I think we grow while here ,,,cos I would say 10 years ago ,,,I wouldnt have stopped to work the orbs out and missed a sign that I really wanted to have.