Moe Carol Delaney

I first met Moe when she was 11 weeks old. I was working as a registered childminder and received a call from social services asking me to do some childminding a few afternoons a week. I was rushing out the door and said no. I was on the train heading to Portrush for the day and I just couldn't get that call out of my mind. When I got there I found a phone box and rang social services....I don't even know now how I got the number plus we didn't have mobile phones then...which is kinda funny.....anyway I told them that I had reconsidered and they said they would bring the mum and baby the next morning to meet me.

Moe came the next morning and I think it was arranged Id have her 3 afternoons a week to give her mother a break. This was August and things went pretty smoothly for the next month. I got to know her mum and her mum built up trust in me. Moe was adorable...I haven't old photographs on this computer but I will try to get some on. She was a wee fat lump with no hair and the cutest dimples you ever saw in your life. Her mother wasn't a bad soul ....shed mental health problems ....caused by an abusive upbringing...but thats a whole story in itself.

In September of that year her mother was sent with Moe to the same residential place that Ellie attended with her parents. She tried hard but had a mental breakdown and had to receive hospital treatment. She rang me asking me if I would look after Moe for her...I really wanted to but social services wouldn't let me because I wasn't an approved foster carer. I visited her mum in the hospital a few times and found out that Moe was with other fostercarers. In December of that year I put myself forward as Moe's foster carer and she came to me every weekend from Friday to Monday. Anytime her mother was struggling or needed hospitalised then Moe came to me also ,,,sometimes for 6 weeks at a time until her mum was well enough to care for her.

This arrangement worked well and I loved having Moe with me but its was hard emotionally to let her go home. Her mother loved her and did her best for her but because of her own upbringing she struggled. When Moe wasn't with me I constantly worried about her. My mother died in June 2000 when Moe was just over a year old. The day my mother was buried I got a phone call asking me to care for Moe as her mum was back in hospital because she couldn't cope with my mothers death. Up to this stage in her mothers life ...she never had anyone who was good to her. My mum had clicked with her and took her under her wing. We used to joke that we fostered the both of them. Anyway I'm going off on a tangent now.....I said I would care for Moe and she was brought over. This is another example of God knowing we needed each other. I can honestly say I wouldn't have got over my mothers death if not for Moe. My world was upside down,,,because my mum was the centre of my world,,,but Moe needed me and I had to keep going.

Things trudged along for the next four years. Moe came and went. I enjoyed her when I had her and worried myself sick when I hadn't. Her mum and I built up a close relationship and I have to say she never once was jealous of her child loving me.

In August 2005 her mum took a stroke and died two weeks later. Moe was with me while her mum was in hospital. The family refused to let Moe go to see her mother but I got a phone call from social services on the Friday informing me that her mum wasn't going to make it ....so I took it on myself to bring Moe to visit. I felt she needed to see her mum plus her mum needed to see Moe. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and would have taken a tear out of a stone. Moe had a musical box that played beauty and the beast with her ,,,,I swear every time I hear that music I'm in floods of tears. Her mum was unconscious but we talked to her and I just know she heard us. We hadn't left the hospital 10minutes when she died. Bless her she was hanging on to see her baby one last time.

Her mums family came that night and removed Moe from my care. I was only her fostercarer and she was in voluntary fostercare so I had to let her go. Poor baby needed me and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I went to the funeral and it was so sad. The next day I got a phone call from a solicitor. She asked me to go and see her so I went. Up to this Id never been in a solicitors office in my life. It turned out that Moe's mum had named me guardian in her will. She had said once that if anything ever happened her she wanted me to have Moe cos she didn't trust her family with her. This will caused the fireworks to fly. Was a six month court case but eventually Moe was placed with me. That was the worst six months of my life...the child was being torn apart and again nothing I could do. I only got contact with her one day a week but god is good and he led her back to me.

Will be five years in January from Moe was placed with me on a fulltime basis. She has grown into the most loving caring and considerate child possible. She still has her insecurities but she has an inner strength that many an adult doesn't. I see her mum in her lots and she has her quick wit. The future could be rocky for Moe as she gets older and wants to know her story. We take things day by day and I want to cram as much fun n laughter into her childhood as I can ,,,to make up for all the time she lost.

She loves Ellie so much and thou their blood is different they are so close. They will have each other in the future to talk to about their experiences. Moe is my inspiration...I admire her greatly not only for what shes come through but for how nice a child she is. She is such a giver and always puts others in front of herself. Shes a nutcase sometimes but so so lovable. Its the wee things she does ,,,We got a pup a few months back...she really treats him like her baby brother. If she goes to get a packet of crisps or a biscuit...she brings 3 one for Ellie one for Timmy and one for herself. Timmy thinks hes died and went to heaven of course.

I thank god everyday for you Moe. I thank him and your mother for choosing me to bring you up and bestowing on me the great privilege of being your mother. Your growing up so fast that it takes my breath away but you will always be my Moey Joey. I hope life is always good to you and I know you will change and make a difference to so many peoples lives here. Your mum is watching over you ,,,and me and Els and I know shes proud as heck of you. You are the best daughter and sister in the world and I love you to bits.